


The Last Letter

by Rinzlerkitty94 (SorynJK)



Series: Tangled Vines - Tales of Lu Ten [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: And... I was in a bad state myself when I wrote this, Blood, Depression, He just wandered past at a bad time, I swear I didn't make Zuko actually find him, I write to cope and unfortunately I sometimes go dark, Like... it's important set up for the main story, Love Letters, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Suicide Attempt, This is actually a pre-spoiler?, This is much darker than I originally intended., final words, please read carefully, read with caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorynJK/pseuds/Rinzlerkitty94
Summary: A one shot concerning Lu Ten and Shin'Ya's relationship. And it's tragic end.Please read carefully - this is not a happy short. In fact, if you're struggling, maybe just skip this one.
Relationships: Lu Ten/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Tangled Vines - Tales of Lu Ten [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804846
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	The Last Letter

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: It's tagged, but this story features mentions of a minor character's death, and an attempted suicide by its main character.

Shin'Ya's Letter to Lu Ten on the Prince's Seventeenth Birthday

"Wow, that's a weirdly formal sounding title for this. I don't know, it just felt… right, somehow? Ignore my rambling. I'm just nervous. But…"

"I love you. You already know that, I've said it a million times by now, but I mean it. I love you, and I couldn't think of a better way than to actually say this, so I just decided to write it out, because that's supposed to be romantic, or some shit like that, right?"

"I mean, I've been in love with you for years, probably since I met you, and I was always just too afraid to actually tell you before. Before the Fire Festival like what, almost two years ago now? Which is dumb because you so clearly were in love with me too. I don't know what took us so long."

"Whatever, I don't know, I was hoping this would be so much more elegant, more poetic or something… I mean, I could try poetic…"

"Nothing… nothing in my life has ever felt right if I wasn't by your side. I felt cold without the warmth of your presence with me. Hollow. But you, you're brighter than the sun, babe."

"In all the times I've started to question why I deserve, what I could possibly have done, to be with you, I can't find a good enough reason, because I am nothing but a spark compared to the brilliance that just is YOU! And I don't know where life will take us."

"Or how you'll manage to keep that promise to keep me by your side."

"But I know that I will never regret being with you, no matter how long it lasts, no matter how it ends. You are worth all of it."

"I love you, Lu Ten. With everything that I am. With every thought, every breath."

"Shin'Ya"

Tears blur the words, obscuring his vision, even as Lu Ten tries to read, re-read, and read again, the last words Shin'Ya had written, dated on the last day of his life, nearly three full months after his seventeenth birthday, just days before Lu Ten's. He could so clearly still hear his voice, his laugh, see the light in his eyes when he smiled at him… and wondering how long before he would stop hearing the panicked screams…. -None of them actually Shin'Ya's… there hadn't been enough time for that… just a flash of fear, a shocked cry that was cut off in an instant… and then the screams started…- Lu Ten didn't want to forget his voice, his heart ached at the thought, he just wanted the screaming to stop… He wanted Shin'Ya back. Alive and well and safe and here with him…

Nothing else mattered now… Not the war, not his training (the training that had gotten Shin'Ya killed…) or titles or even his (future) crown. Shin'Ya had been right, because without Shin'Ya, he felt cold. Desolate. Heavy and tired and drowning in all his pain!

The letter burned to ashes in seconds in his hands, ignited by a flare of hurt-filled anger, and he dropped it with a sharp yelp, shaking out his, lightly, scorched fingers. The smoldering ashes burned themselves out on the floor just as quickly as the flame had caught, and grew just as quickly cold.

Another broken sob tore itself from Lu Ten's lips, dismayed and horrified at how easily he had lost this last message from his love, feeling suddenly too tired, too weary, physically aching all over, to bother trying to stop them.

Everything hurt. Everything burned, not with the comforting warmth of Agni's light he had always felt before. He was consumed by this, crumbling into ashes like Shin'Ya's letter… And he choked on his sobs, gasping as his throat closed, his eyes stung… This had to end… had to end. Had to end now!

A shiny blade, tempting, alluring, comforting, was drawn from its sheath where it had been innocuously resting on Lu Ten's side table under the folded letter. Perfectly silver, clean, new… A final gift.

Lu Ten lifted the blade, carefully examined it, and teared up again at the engraved combination of their names, "LuShin," a dumb joke between them.

He took a breath, pressed the blade against the inside of his wrist. And dragged it down along his arm. He hissed at the sharp pain, nearly dropping the blade, his eyes clenching. He forced the open, switched the blade from steady right to shaking left hands, and repeated the motion. And immediately felt weaker. Lighter… 

And watched, with suddenly much heavier eyes, as a river of crimson flowed down his arms, dripping onto his blankets, soaking into the fabric. Fading, slowly, into darkness…

Until the panicked shout of his guard, come to check on the prince, dragged him back. 

More screaming… more pain… his head ached, the wrists stung as they were tightly gripped to stop the blood flow. Wrapped in bandages. 

From the corner of his eye, he could see in the doorway to his rooms, the tears in Zuko's eyes, his shocked, horrified expression. The anguish in his father's… 

The crushing guilt that followed… how dare he be so selfish…? But how could he keep moving forward…

He was moved to the healer's quarters for the next week, kept under constant watch, never left alone for a moment… he barely moved during that week…

But Lu Ten would keep the dagger with him forever, the last reminder of Shin'Ya. He would also keep the scars from a failed attempt to join his first love in death.

He would not try again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in a time when I was personally struggling with my own depression, just a little bit too much really... and I have found that writing through the feelings helps sometimes and... that's how this exact chapter happened. 
> 
> So uh... 1-800-273-8255. That's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It's operational 24/7, and there's also a text line available. For anyone else who might be struggling. 
> 
> Please, everyone, take care of yourselves. Please. I would hate for anything to happen to any of you.


End file.
